HW2020: Follow Your Heart
by ShipMistress
Summary: Bonus part 8 for my Hiccstrid Week 2020. While taking a walk along the shore, Astrid remembered how she first met Hiccup ten years ago.
1. Follow Your Heart

**Okay, I know this is almost two weeks late… But, well, it's just a bonus and not one of the main shorts I wrote for this project. And hey! It's finally done!  
**

**This short… is a tough one. Bittersweet. On AO3, it comes with the _"Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings"_ tag.  
**

**And I wrote this short in a way that, hopefully, it can take place in whatever time period you like. It could be an AU during the Viking times, I guess. Or it could be a modern AU. Or anything in-between. Whichever you prefer. **

**. o O o .**

**Follow Your Heart**

It was early morning, the sand crunching beneath her feet. The cool morning air was thick with mist, the waves lapping at the beach more audible than visible. Smiling, Astrid took a deep breath of the salty brine and continued her walk along the shore.

She more felt his presence than anything else. His silhouette was barely visible in the swirling mist, his voice nothing but a whisper on the breeze around her. But she could feel that he was close, watching her as she walked.

She sat down in her usual spot, a large piece of driftwood that had one gnarled branch reaching up into the sky. Perfect to lean against. Her gaze wandered out over the endless sea, the mist having lightened with the rising sun.

"It's been ten years today," she said, smiling melancholically. She didn't get an answer, hadn't expected one. But she thought she could feel him coming closer, listening to her every word. "Do you remember? I'd just moved to Berk that day and had to stay at the inn before moving in properly…"

**. o O o .**

_She'd been warned that the weather on Berk wasn't exactly welcoming, had been prepared with warmer clothes and sturdy boots. But she'd _not _expected to be soaking wet from only the five-minutes'-walk from the harbour to the inn. Shivering and cursing under her breath, she tried to open the door without letting any of her bags land in the muddy puddles on the ground._

_"Wait, let me help you." _

_The voice came from a young man jogging toward her down the hill. Relieved, she took a step to the side and let him hold the door open for her. _

_"Thanks," she sighed wholeheartedly._

_"Anytime," the young man replied, green eyes sparkling beneath his hood. _

_He was handsome, she noticed, with stubbles on his chiselled jaw and countless freckles giving him an adorable touch. Attractive. She wouldn't have minded looking at him for a little bit longer, but it was not to be. Before she could say anything, he gave her a nod and a smile, and then vanished into the tavern room. But maybe she'd meet him again, Berk wasn't _that_ big, after all._

_The innkeeper, a friendly elderly woman, directed her to her room, and as she unpacked her bags, she mused that the people around here seemed to be friendly enough to make up for the bad weather. She changed into fresh clothes, then headed down again in search of some food. Hopefully, there would be something to warm her up. _

_When she entered the tavern room, however, her hopes dropped a little. It was crowded far beyond what she'd expected. But then again, Berk wasn't big and this was quite possibly the _only_ tavern on the entire island. She looked around for a free table and grimaced when she found none. Just people everywhere, eating and drinking, laughing and enjoying the warmth of a burning hearth. _

_She was about to give up and ask the innkeeper whether she could take some bread and cheese up to her room, when her eyes caught sight of someone waving at her. _How_ she even noticed the motion amidst the chaotic tavern room she did not know. But it was clearly directed at her. _

_At first, she reflexively expected it to be some crude pick up thing; it had happened a few times too many before. And it wasn't as if she knew _anyone_ on this island. But then she recognised the waving man as the one who'd held the door open for her. Without the hood and heavy black raincoat, she hardly recognised him, but his gleaming eyes were unmistakable, even across the room. His lips were pulled into an open smile, and with that untidy mop of auburn hair and a green shirt, he looked even more handsome than before._

_Astrid hesitated for only one moment before weaving her way through the crowd. To her initial disappointment, there was no free space near him either, but the young man quickly pushed the man next to him further up the bench and scooted over, making room for her. "Ragnar, stay on your side, will you?" he chided with humour in his voice. "Can't leave the lady standing, right?"_

_She hesitated again, glancing around once more, but then gladly took the free seat. Usually, she prided herself as being well able to care for herself, but after a day of travel, she wouldn't turn down a little support. "Thanks," she sighed, leaning back with relief. "I was just about to give up on something warm to eat."_

_"Ah, we can't have that," he replied. He raised his arm, gesturing at the burly man standing behind the bar. "There's some good stew tonight. I'm Hiccup, by the way." _

_Astrid raised her eyebrow. "Hiccup?"_

_Hiccup shrugged. "Actually, it's Henry. But the only person calling me that is my grandma. So unless you're her in disguise, I'm Hiccup." He grinned at her, the way one corner of his lips tilted up higher than the other somehow utterly endearing._

_"Hiccup it is, then," she laughed, feeling surprisingly at ease around him. "And I'm Astrid."_

_Now, it was on Hiccup to raise an eyebrow? "Astrid? Really?"_

_There was a mischievous spark in his eyes, one that made her frown. "Why? What's wrong with that name?"_

_"Oh, it's nothing," he replied lightly. His lips were twitching though, making her suspicious. However, before she could say anything, a young woman, a barmaid apparently, appeared next to her. _

_"Here you go, Hiccup. Two bowls of mum's stew. Anything else?"_

_Hiccup only shrugged. "The usual."_

_With a questioning look, the barmaid turned toward Astrid next. _

_"I…" she began, not sure what was expected of her. "What's 'the usual'?" _

_"A tankard of our best beer. One of the mid-sized ones, because the big ones are too much for him."_

_Now, it was on Astrid to throw Hiccup a questioning look. _

_He blushed and said a little sheepishly, "It's true."_

_Chuckling, she turned back toward the barmaid. "I'll take one of those too, then."_

_The woman nodded and left. Astrid had barely reached for her spoon before she was back though, placing two still rather impressive tankards in front of them. _

_"Thanks, Cami. These are on me."_

_Still stunned about how quickly the woman, Cami, had returned, Astrid watched her leave this time. And even though she didn't like to admit it, she was impressed by how easily she navigated the crowded room, pushing aside men certainly twice her weight with apparent ease._

_"How… how does she do that?" Astrid asked, bemused._

_Hiccup followed her gaze and smirked. "Cami is a force of nature. Don't even _try_ to make sense of her."_

_Astrid frowned but accepted his words with merely a shrug. They seemed to be on good enough terms and the amusement in Hiccup's voice told her that he was mostly joking._

_She reached for her beer. "Thanks for this, by the way. Next round's on me." _

_"You're welcome," he replied, with a warm smile this time that made her insides flutter strangely. "Consider it a 'Welcome on Berk' gift."_

_She let her spoon sink into the bowl again and looked up at him, confused. "How do you know I'm new?"_

_Hiccup laughed, his shoulders shaking even as he tried to suppress it. "That question alone would give you away," he chuckled. "You might not have noticed yet, but Berk isn't exactly_ big_. I've lived here all my life, so I know a stranger's face when I see one. Besides, I know that Helka Hofferson's niece is moving to Berk to support her. And if that's _not_ you, then I wonder how many people there are who look just like her."_

_Astrid scrunched up her nose but didn't reply. She should have guessed as much; her aunt had warned her that she would be 'the new one' for quite a while. And he had a point, the family resemblance between her and her aunt was indisputable. So she decided not to bother._

_"Yeah, you're right, that's me," she admitted, shrugging and rolling her eyes but still smiling. "It really is that obvious, isn't it?"_

_"Mmh…" Hiccup hummed, looking her over from head to toe. "Yep."_

_They ate their stew with more light conversation in-between. Astrid managed to pay for the second round of drinks – the beer watered down considerably this time – and by the time those were almost empty she felt as if she'd known Hiccup for all her life. _

_Talking to him – _being_ with him, really – was surprisingly easy. They seemed to click naturally with just enough contrast to keep their conversation interesting but otherwise being in sync like she'd been with nobody else before. _

_"Can I ask you something?" she asked at least two hours after she'd entered the tavern room. _

_Hiccup just cocked his head, nodding and waving a hand to indicate for her to go on. The curiosity on his face was true and friendly. Astrid felt as if she could talk to him about _everything_. _

_"What did you mean earlier? About my name, I mean." _

_"Oh, that." He smirked. "Well, the name is a little presumptuous, don't you think? 'Divine Beauty'? Come on, you have to admit that it's a pretty arrogant name: And, sorry, but you don't live up to it."_

_Astrid could do little but gape at him. She was used to men making comments about her name, but not like this. _Never_ like this! Had he really just called her _ugly?_ Flabbergasted, she contemplated how to react, whether to simply leave or to punch his arm first. _

_But then she noticed the mischievous gleam in his eyes, the teasing smirk playing around his lips as he took another mouthful of beer. Oh, he was good, poking fun at her vanity. Cheeky. But in a way, she liked it. It gave their conversation this sense of companionability, as if they'd been friends for years already. And even though they'd only met a couple of hours ago, it felt just right somehow. _

_"Whatever you say... uhm," she hawed, frowning to herself. On any other occasion, she'd used his surname for this statement. But as she spoke, she realised that she didn't even _know _his surname. In fact, she knew close to nothing about him. Somehow, that didn't sit well with her. _

_"So… what are you doing here?" she asked, trying to stir their conversation toward getting to know each other. _

_He seemed confused though. "Here as in here on Berk? I live here."_

_Astrid shook her head. "No, I meant here in this tavern. All on your own. Isn't that a bit odd?" _

_"Huh. Maybe it _is_ odd," he agreed, weirdly melancholically all of a sudden. He looked at her for a long moment, then nodded slightly as if only to himself. He leaned a little closer, elbows resting on the table, and sighed. "I just couldn't stand staying at home today, you know?_

_There _definitely_ was a natural companionship between them, one that ran deeper than it had any right to. "Is that a general statement or did something happen?" It was too personal a question. But it felt right to ask it nonetheless._

_Hiccup's lips twitched into a humourless smile. "Both, in a way. You see…" He paused, taking a deep breath. "My father is the leader of this island. The _Chief, _if you want to use that phrase. He wants me to follow in his footsteps, but… well, that's simply not who I am. So I've been nothing but a failure and a disappointment to him ever since I can remember."_

_"I'm sorry to hear that." _

_She placed a hand on his arm to offer comfort, marvelling at how warm he was. Suddenly, she found herself wondering about how it would feel to get embraced by those arms, to feel his warmth all around her. Somehow, she _missed_ that heat. _

_She shook her head to chase those thoughts away. Yes, he was attractive; she'd noticed that the moment she'd first gotten a good look at him. But this wasn't the moment to think about _that.

_No matter how appealing the idea was._

_"So… what _do_ you want to do?" she asked, to get herself back on track but also out of honest interest. The longer she talked to Hiccup the more interested she became in him, and not just physically. _

_"I… I want to see the world," he said, looking up at her and with a crooked smile. "Which is kinda the answer to your earlier question," he added with a sigh. "I'm not just here because Dad and I disagree in general, but because I couldn't stand him moping around and shooting me angry looks or disappointed comments all the time. You see, I'm leaving. Tomorrow. There's this research ship, the Night Fury. Once or twice a year, they start from Berk for an expedition all around the world. When I was little, I used to spend _hours_ on a shore at the northern end of the island. From there, I would watch the horizon, impatiently waiting for the Night Fury to return and for the crew members and explorers to tell their tales." A fond smile crossed his face. "Anyway… Tomorrow, they're leaving for another trip. And I'll go with them. It's not even that I'll be gone forever, only a few months. But Dad thinks it's a complete waste of time and tried only-the-Gods-know-what to keep me here."_

_"That… must be tough." She grimaced, thinking back to her own family always so full of support for whatever anyone wanted to do. _

_Hiccup shrugged, sitting up straighter again. "It's all right. I'm used to it by now, and I know that he _means_ well. He just doesn't understand me, never has, and probably never will." He chuckled. "But at least I have my grandma's – his mother's – blessing. She always tells me to follow my own heart. So that's what I'll do."_

_Astrid nodded. "I'm glad you have at least _some_ support." She paused, taking a swallow before slightly changing the topic. "So, what exactly will you be doing on this journey?"_

_His face lit up at her question. "Oh, the main goal is to explore the Arctic," he explained. "I'm going to assist, take notes, and…"_

_Attentively, she listened to Hiccup explaining the goals of this expedition. The longer he talked, the more animated he became. His hands – his entire arms, really – flew around to visualise his words, his eyes gleaming with excitement. His joy and anticipation were infectious, and she couldn't help but smile as he talked about seeing the northern lights and endless ice deserts. _

_"That sounds amazing," she agreed when he was done talking. "I can see why you want to go on this expedition and not stay on this island forever." She cocked her head, chin resting on her propped-up hands. "So, what's the plan then? How long is this journey going to be? You won't spend the winter up there, will you? And what are you going to do afterwards?"_

_Chuckling, he shook his head. "That would be pretty foolish, wouldn't it? No, this is meant to be a relatively short expedition in comparison. Only four months, six at the most. Although, it already happened that the crew got surprised by an early winter and had to spend the icy months on another island. So it _could_ be up to a year before I come back. And then… well, I don't know yet. The thing is, I don't necessarily want to leave Berk, you know? This is my home and I like living here. I just don't want to waste away as some kind of bureaucrat, or at least not without having tried something else first. So… I guess I'll see?" He shrugged, a little sheepishly. _

_"I think that sounds reasonable," Astrid reassured him. Then she put on a sad face, clearly exaggerating. "But I'd hoped to see you around more often now. And now I hear you might be gone for an entire year? That sure is a disappointment."_

_He raised an eyebrow, a lofty half-smile on his lips. "Is that so?" He leaned closer, close enough for his breath to caress her skin as he spoke. "Well, I won't be gone _forever_. You could always... _wait_ for me."_

_Snorting, she shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Don't count on that."_

**. o O o .**

A gust of wind came from the north, cold and unforgiving, and Astrid pulled her cloak tighter around herself. But even as she was watching the waves as they rose and fell, breaking against the hidden rocks beneath the surface, her thoughts were somewhere else.

In her mind, she relived that evening when she'd met Hiccup, everything still so clear in her mind even after all this time. The night had burned itself into her memory, irrevocably. Forever.

She still marvelled at how easily they'd bonded, from strangers to friends in merely a couple of hours.

And then so _so_ much more than that…

**. o O o .**

_Astrid couldn't say at which point their friendly bantering had turned into outright flirting. But all of a sudden she found herself throwing him heated looks through her lashes, biting her lips and grinning inwardly at how it made him suck in his breath every time again. Hiccup wasn't unaffected by the change of mood either, the intensity in his eyes growing every time they dropped to her lips. _

_Astrid had struggled for all her life to interact with other people, but with Hiccup, it was different. It was like a dance, easy and simple, natural. Back and forth, a teasing comment here, a light touch there. When her leg brushed against his beneath the table, more or less accidentally, and he bit his lip in response, she wanted nothing more than to tug it free with hers. She imagined how his mouth, so easy to twitch into a grin, would feel against her own, how his eyes would look burning with passion. She wanted to hear her name drop off his lips, wanted to feel his work-roughened hands on her skin. She felt as if she already knew him but it wasn't enough. She wanted to know _everything_. _

_When the room slowly cleared, most guests having left by then, Hiccup looked around wistfully. "I think it's time for me to leave, too," he sighed, then added with a chuckle, "It's gotten later than I planned to stay. Good that my bags are all already packed for tomorrow."_

_Astrid felt a strange pang in her chest. She didn't want to part from him, not yet. But he was right; it was too late to stay any longer. She had no doubts that Cami wouldn't refrain from kicking them out eventually. _

_She accompanied Hiccup to the entrance area where they had to part, him to head back to his father and her to head upstairs to her room. They were both reluctant though, fidgeting._

_"I… guess I'll see you around then," she eventually said with a somewhat sad smile on her face. "When you're back, I mean."_

_Hiccup gave her an unreadable look before he nodded with a similar expression, though warmth filled his eyes. "I'm looking forward to it." Then he nodded her goodbye and turned, heading for the door. _

_Astrid didn't think. It was pure reflex that made her follow him and made her grab his arm to pull him back around, pure instinct that made her stretch until her lips clashed with his. It took him less than a heartbeat to react, his head tilting to kiss her back and his arms winding around her. Before she knew it, she felt the wooden wall against her back, his hot chest against her front. His hands were on her waist, her back, so warm and holding her so tight. It was _everything_ she'd hoped for. She sighed, pulling herself closer against him, deeper into their kiss. He gasped against her mouth and she seized the opportunity to slip her tongue out, tasting him. His woodsy scent of wind and leather surrounding her made her dizzy. It was perfect._

_They only parted when they needed a break to breathe but stayed close, foreheads resting against each other. _

_"Stay," she murmured into the small space between them. Her hand was gliding down from his hair, along his neck, his jaw, feeling rough stubbles. Her thumb brushed over his lower lip. She didn't want to part, wanted to stay this close to him. Wanted to kiss him some more._

_A moan rumbled from deep inside his chest, something between longing and desperation. "Astrid, I–" he groaned, but whatever sensible reason he wanted to bring up, she didn't want to hear it. Instead, she silenced him with a finger over his lips. _

_"Just for this one night. Don't leave just yet," she whispered, then added more quietly, "Please."_

**. o O o .**

The sun had risen higher by now.

Smiling softly, Astrid leaned her head back against the tree branch, enjoying the light and the warmth on her face, the sounds of the waves, and the cries of the seagulls far above her.

In her mind, she was reliving that night which had been, without any doubt, the best of her life. She'd thought that there had been some deeper connection between her and Hiccup before already when they'd talked for hours in that brimming tavern room. But that had been _nothing_ compared to that night in her bed. Exploring hands on skin, getting to know the other, and whispered words, her name on his tongue like a prayer. Endless kisses, some deep and passionate, others soft and sweet. The way they'd matched so perfectly.

For all her life, Astrid had prided herself as being realistic and practical. She'd never been one to believe in soulmates, love at first sight, or other romantical nonsense like that.

Not until that night.

**. o O o .**

_Astrid woke to the light of early dawn, as usual. But instead of most other days when she would start her day without delay or wasting time, today she felt like not leaving her bed at all. She just felt too comfortable with Hiccup's arm heavy around her waist, his chest burning against her back. She'd been right the night before, being encased in his embrace was fantastic. _

_With a content sigh, she snuggled closer against him. Soon, they would have to get up; Hiccup had a ship to catch, after all. But not yet, they still had a few minutes. And she didn't intend to miss out on even one of them. _

_Hiccup was awake; she could tell by the changing rhythm of his breathing. But it took him a while before he said or did anything. Then his arm around her tightened, and with his face buried in her hair he mumbled, "What have you done to me?"_

_Astrid chuckled, the vibrations doing interesting things to where they were touching. "You already forgot? Was it too much alcohol after all?" It hadn't been, she knew that well enough. After the second round, they'd only drunk water. Besides, she was pretty sure that last night had been as memorable for him as it had been for her. _

_Hiccup snorted, but his amusement didn't last for long. He shifted behind her until she could roll onto her back, then leaned over her again, looking down at her with those intense eyes of his. His hand came up to brush aside a wayward strand of her hair, caressing along her brow and down her cheek. _

_"I don't know what to do anymore," he murmured, swallowing as his fingertips reached her lips. _

_He didn't need to elaborate; Astrid knew exactly what he was talking about. This night had been the beginning of something good, something true and powerful. She could feel it deep inside her, thrumming and glowing, so warm and light. It could become something _real_ – but it would need time to grow. _

_And Hiccup was about to leave in only a few short hours._

_She could see his struggling, saw how troubled and torn he was. She knew what she _hoped_ for him to decide, but then… _

_"Yes, you do," she murmured in a serious but also sad tone. "What was it your grandmother said? Follow your heart," she reminded him lightly, using the words he'd said the night before._

_Slowly, Hiccup shook his head. "I… I just don't know what it wants anymore," he said quietly. _

_She let out a hiccupy sigh. Oh, yes, she knew what she wanted him to choose. But she also knew, deep down, that it would be the wrong choice._

_Her hand reached up to absentmindedly trace his features. "It's not so difficult," she whispered. "Just think about how excited you were only yesterday. You want to see the world, remember? And you've waited so long, all those days you spent at the shore. So you're going to leave with the Night Fury today. And…" she paused, chewing on her lip. "And we can figure out everything else when you're back."_

_Gasping out a small laugh, he nodded. "Right. Except that I shouldn't count on you waiting for me, if I remember correctly." He chuckled, but then quickly became serious again and let his head drop until it rested against hers. "I don't know whether this is the right moment to say this," he mumbled. "It feels… strange. It's not even been a full day, after all. But Astrid, I have to tell you that… What I mean is… I-I think I lov–"_

_She cut him off with a finger over his lips. When he pulled back, there were so many emotions crossing his face. Most of them, she felt, too. But it was too soon… _

_"Not now," she whispered. "Don't say it, not yet. Wait until you're back. Tell me when you're _sure _about it and when I have the time to react properly."_

_Chuckling, he nodded, the warmth in his eyes nearly causing her to melt. "Okay." _

_When the first rays of sunshine fell through the window, they got up and dressed, though reluctantly. Their time was running out, and despite her words of encouragement, she simply didn't want to part from him. _

_"I better go now," he eventually sighed. He was a little breathless from the kiss they'd just shared, his hands resting lightly on her waist. As if they belonged there. "I need to get my bags and I at least have to say goodbye to my dad before I leave."_

_Astrid nodded against his chest but didn't reply. She didn't fully trust her voice not to break._

_"The Night Fury is going to set sail in two hours," he eventually went on. "So maybe… if you have the time, I mean, then you could…"_

_With a smirk, Astrid pulled back to look at him. She'd wanted to tease him a little, but when she noticed his cautious expression, her face softened. _

_"I will be there."_

**. o O o .**

_Two hours._

_Two hours before the Night Fury would set sail._

_Two hours in which Astrid properly unpacked her bags, ate a tasty breakfast, and wandered around in the town of Berk to get familiar with its narrow alleys and old houses._

_Two hours in which she missed Hiccup more than she was willing to admit._

_More than once, she found herself pondering about whether she should try to find him, to talk to him. She had no idea where he and his father lived, didn't even know his surname. But if she asked after the house of the chief or mayor or whatever title his father held, then surely someone would be able to point her in the right direction. It would be simple. _

_But she didn't do it. Not because she was nervous or afraid of how he might react, though. No, she feared what she might do. Because she knew what she _wanted _to do. She wanted to hold him tight and not let go again. She wanted him to stay, might even beg him not to leave. Four months weren't even that long, but right now, it felt like an unbearable eternity._

_So she stayed away, even contemplated whether to go to the harbour at all. But she'd promised she would be there and she _really_ wanted to see him one last time before he left._

_It wasn't difficult to find the harbour nor had she any problems identifying the Night Fury. It was a large ship, mostly black, and there was a considerable crowd at the docks in front of it, giving their farewell to the crew. At first, she feared to have problems finding Hiccup among all these people, but it was an unnecessary fear. Her eyes found him immediately._

_As if something inside her had _known_ where he was. _

_He was kneeling next to a wheelchair with an elderly woman in it, presumably his grandmother. They were hugging, the old woman giving him an affectionate kiss on the cheek which Hiccup returned without hesitation. The sight made Astrid smile._

_Then Hiccup looked up, his eyes landing on her as if he'd known she was there. His face brightened and he quickly excused himself before jogging toward her._

_"You came!" he gasped before kissing her with a passion that would leave no uncertainties about their relationship in those around them. One hand was at her waist pulling her close, the other cradling her cheek, and Astrid felt safe and cherished like barely ever before._

_"Of course I did," she replied, chuckling. "I promised, didn't I?" _

_Her eyes wandered over his shoulder and landed on his grandmother a few steps behind him. She was smiling at them, the joy in her old eyes genuine. _

_"I told her about you." Hiccup had followed her gaze. "And I think she likes you."_

_Astrid squeezed his hand. "Do you tell her about all your one-night-stands?" she asked, teasingly._

_Hiccup frowned, but only for a moment before his expression smoothed. "No, I don't. But… Astrid, you're so much more than that. You know that, right?"_

_She hummed and leaned against his chest. She wanted to be as close to him as possible, for as long as possible. Hiccup seemed to feel the same, holding her in a tight embrace. _

_"I've been thinking," he eventually mumbled into her hair. He pulled away a little, his eyes searching hers. "I… I could stay, you know? I don't _have_ to leave. I could tell them that I changed my mind. My dad would be thrilled. If… if you want, I mean..." He trailed off, shrugging and waiting for her response, his eyes burning into hers._

_Astrid's heart was beating in her throat. She'd been thinking about whether or not she should ask him to stay, and now, here, he was _offering_ to do so? She had to close her eyes, her hands at his back clenching into his jacket. _

_"No," she whispered. "No, you have to go."_

_"Why?"_

_Oh, he sounded so vulnerable, so hurt. Trembling, she opened her eyes again, a reassuring if sad smile on her lips. _

_"Not because I don't _want_ to spend more time with you," she reassured him. "Believe me, I want nothing more than to see where this–" she gestured back and forth between them, "–will lead us. But… but I don't want this… our future... to be built on you giving up your dreams."_

_Hiccup took a deep breath and then nodded. "Okay. Okay, I see your point. You're right. Very prudent of you." He chuckled. "Those are going to be the longest – hopefully – four months of my life though. And… well, here's hoping that I'm not wasting my one and only chance right now."_

_Chuckling, Astrid shook her head. "I have a confession to make," she said, grinning. _

_"Oh?" Hiccup cocked his head, one eyebrow raised._

_"Yeah…" She held his gaze. "When I said you shouldn't count on me waiting for you… that was a lie."_

_Swallowing, he got a little closer still. "Is that so?"_

_She nodded, smiling. "It is. Hiccup, I'll wait for you, no matter whether it takes four, six, or even twelve months for you to come back. I _will_ be waiting for you."_

_His eyes flared up with joy, bright and blazing, before he leaned in for another kiss. It was deep and fierce, almost indecent with the way he all but curled around her. Astrid was giggling into his mouth, happiness like a condensed bubble surrounding them. No, not happiness. It was something else, something warm and strong. This morning, she'd kept him from saying it out loud, but that didn't mean that she wasn't feeling it, too – no matter how little sense it made yet. It was still there, this powerful feeling blooming in her chest, like soaring through the sky, light and free. _

_Love._

_"I wasn't completely honest either," he murmured after… she couldn't even say how long. Just now, his lips had been pressed against her forehead, but then he pulled away, his eyes brimming with emotions._

_"Oh?" Astrid replied in the same way he had, lips twitching._

_Hiccup nodded. "I said you don't live up to your name… but that was a lie. The truth is… it doesn't do you justice."_

_She blinked, then burst out laughing. "That's got to be the corniest pick-up line ever!" she giggled._

_Hiccup chimed in, chuckling as his hands reached for her own to idly play with her fingers. "Still true though."_

_Still trembling with silent laughter, she shook her head at the romantic dork in front of her. _Her_ dork. _

_Before she could say anything, however, the ship's loud horn echoed through the harbour._

_"That's my cue," Hiccup murmured wistfully. "I need to go."_

_Astrid nodded mutely and took a step backwards, actively keeping herself from holding him back. He followed her though, his eyes serious as they deeply looked into hers._

_"Wait for me," he murmured, his voice low. "Wait for me along the shore. Please."_

_"I will," she promised, reassuringly squeezing his hand. "I'll wait until you come back."_

**. o O o .**

Astrid took a deep shaky breath. As always, her eyes were cast out toward the horizon.

Searching for a black spot to appear.

Waiting as time passed by...

**. o O o .**

_Time passed surprisingly quickly. _

_Days became weeks, and Astrid settled into her new life. She had her own rooms in her aunt's house where she took care of her in-between working on her book. She went grocery shopping, prepared their meals, cleaned the house, and enjoyed long conversations with Helka. Three times per week, she drove her to meetings with her friends, and even though Astrid was still very much 'the new one', she nonetheless felt accepted by Berk's population – especially by Hiccup's grandmother Bruna who happened to be one of Helka's closest friends. _

_Every now and then, the elderly woman would pull her aside and tell her stories about her grandson. How curious he'd been as a child, not content until he'd explored every last corner of the island. How stubborn he could be when he'd set his mind on something. A trait he shared with his father. But he was also sweet and caring, reliable and honest. And with every story she heard, Astrid fell more in love with him. _

_Every day, she spent at least one hour at the northern shore, gazing out over the waves and looking for a certain black ship. It was too soon, she knew that. It would still be many weeks or even months before he came back. But she enjoyed the solitude, the chance to dream of him and to picture their future in her mind. It should feel insane; they'd really only had that one night. But there still was this connection between them, that feeling of security and warmth. She couldn't wait to explore it further, to let it grow._

_One day, she felt strange, though. It was about a month after he'd left, and she'd just woken up after a turbulent stormy night. A look outside the window told her that the wind had barely lessened as it hadn't for days now. She stayed inside all morning, but it made her feel queasy, anxious. Restlessly, she walked over into the kitchen and checked the fridge and cabinets. They were all well-stocked, there was no need for her to leave. No good reason to go outside in this weather. _

_But did she _need_ a reason?_

_"I'm going to the shore," she called to where Helka was reading a book. _

_Her aunt looked up, one eyebrow raised even as her lips twitched. "I'd recommend you not to, but I know you wouldn't listen anyway. So I'll just tell you to be careful not to get blown away."_

_Smiling to herself, Astrid wandered through the wind. The shore was a good walk away on the other side of the town, but nothing she couldn't manage on foot. And she'd been there every day since Hiccup's departure; it felt wrong to stay away. And really, the longer she walked, the better she felt. The strange queasiness in her belly had nearly disappeared by the time she reached the town's centre. However, when she spotted the unusual crowd that had gathered at the harbour, the anxiety from before came crashing down on her again. It was too soon for the Night Fury to be back._

So, what else had happened?

_When people spotted her, they made way for her, murmuring and not meeting her eyes. Astrid stumbled forward, looking for a familiar face, for someone who'd tell her what had happened. Eventually, she spotted someone, and it took her a moment to understand how she'd been able to overlook him until then. Stoick Haddock, the mayor of Berk and Hiccup's father, who usually towered over everyone else, was kneeling on the dirty ground, crying in anguish. _

_Something inside Astrid clicked, but she refused to acknowledge it. Instead, she slowly stepped closer, searching for any hints or signs that her conclusion was wrong, that there was another explanation for this man to show his emotions so openly. She'd almost reached Stoick when a frail hand closed around her wrist. When she looked up, she saw into Bruna's pale green eyes. They looked… broken._

_"I'm so sorry, child," she whispered, her hand around Astrid's arm shaking. "But… the storm. It's been the strongest in years. The news just reached us. It capsized and sank. The ship. The Night Fury. There… there were no survivors."_

_Around her, the world was spinning in circles. Astrid stared, shocked, at the old woman, her mind refusing to accept the truth. _

_"No," she gasped. "No, that's not true. It's not possible! We… we wanted… No!" She stumbled backwards, shaking her head as her vision got blurry with tears. The queasiness from before returned with force, and the last thing she remembered was that she was puking her guts out onto the paving stones a moment later._

**. o O o.**

A warm breeze blew from the west. It caressed along the back of her neck, felt almost like the touch of a lover. Astrid tilted her head, leaning into it, and smiled despite the lonely tear that ran down her cheek.

Ten years. Ten years had passed since that one night she'd had with Hiccup. But in moments like these, she _still_ missed him.

Absentmindedly, she reached up to where she could feel the memory of his touch, closed her eyes to listen to the echo of his voice in the wind.

_Wait for me along the shore._

She had, every single day. People had told her to move on, maybe to even move away. But she'd stayed, had kept her memories close. Some called her crazy for still coming here where she could swear that she saw his outline in the mist, heard his voice in the wind, felt his touch and his presence. And they were probably right, she mused. But that wouldn't keep her from coming back tomorrow. Here on the shore, she felt close to him, as if he was here, waiting for her to visit him.

When she eventually stood up, her eyes landed on the ring on her right hand, the sunlight catching in the carved stone. It wasn't a wedding ring, of course, it wasn't. She'd never even gotten the chance to tell Hiccup that she loved him, at least not to his face. And yet, this ring _felt_ like a wedding ring. Once, it had been Bruna's engagement ring and that of Hiccup's mother after her, and Bruna had passed it on to Astrid when she'd died five years ago.

Her hands were trembling when she lifted them, brought the ring to her lips to breathe a soft kiss on it. "I love you," she whispered into the wind.

Then she straightened, wiped the tears away, and after taking a deep breath, she walked back home.

It promised to be a wonderful day, sunny and warm. Many people were up already, greeting her with friendly smiles as she passed by. She stopped at the market place and bought some bread, apples, eggs, and a book she spotted at one merchant's stall. On her way back home, she felt light, the sun warming her face and the cries of the seagulls accompanied her all the way. Yes, people had advised her to leave after what had happened, to start anew. But how could she leave a place that had so quickly become her _home? _Even after Helka had passed away two years ago, she'd never even thought about leaving, not once. Besides, it wasn't just about herself anyway, not just her who felt at home on Berk.

"Zephyr?" she called upon entering the house she'd inherited. "Are you up already?"

_"Of course_ I am!" came the reply, the eye-rolling nearly audible. "I'm over here. Breakfast is ready."

It had been a valid question in Astrid's opinion. While the girl was always full of energy and practically always up and about, she was also prone to forgetting the time, staying up until late in the night, and then sleeping in until noon. Something she'd inherited from her father, according to Stoick.

"Thanks, honey." Astrid smiled at the set table, then went to hug her daughter tight.

"Mum!" Zephyr complained. "Can't breathe!" But she giggled, returning the hug with all the strength the nine-year-old girl had.

Astrid savoured the moment, needed it to get grounded again today. The anniversary had brought up memories, sad and good ones. But all in all, happiness overruled the sadness in her life.

"I brought you something," she said as they sat down to eat. "I spotted this book on the market. It's about constructing and manufacturing, and I thought it would be interesting for you." She waved out of the window to where they'd repurposed an old shed into something of a workshop.

"Oh, really? Thank you!" Zephyr's eyes brightened with excitement

The sight gave Astrid a sting in her heart. Zephyr just looked _so much_ like Hiccup with her auburn hair and the freckles all over her face. She might have inherited Astrid's blue eyes, but even the expression in them was entirely Hiccup's.

She had to fight to not let her daughter see her pain, didn't want to dampen her joy. But as it was, Zephyr's face fell on its own a moment later anyway.

"What's up, honey?" Astrid asked. "Something bothering you?"

Zephyr shrugged. "Nothing, just… Well, grandpa said that I shouldn't waste my time with stuff like this. Something… something about it having done enough damage already. I think he meant… because of Dad."

Astrid sighed. She knew how Stoick felt about anything regarding science and engineering, about studying and doing research. In his mind, those things were the reason why Hiccup was gone now. But Astrid couldn't see it that way, remembered all too well how happy and excited he'd been when he'd talked about his dreams that night. What happened had been an accident and could just as well have happened with him going fishing instead.

Smiling encouragingly, Astrid reached for her daughter's hand. "Being curious and learning what interests you is a good thing. Don't let your grandfather talk you out of what you want. Do you know what your father would tell you?"

Zephyr shook her head, listening avidly.

Astrid closed her eyes for a moment, steadying herself. It would be easy to feel like Stoick, to be bitter and resentful of what had taken Hiccup away from her. But somehow, she didn't have it in her to feel that way. His curiosity and excitement had been a part of him, and trying to take that away from him would only have been another way for him to die.

Of course, she often thought about how her life would have been if he was still with her. With them. She _missed_ that life, the lost opportunities. But all in all, she was happy. And even though she sometimes regretted her decision from ten years ago – to encourage him to go instead of begging him to stay – her reasons back then still rang true.

Even now, as she looked at Zephyr, waiting and looking at her with those same intense eyes, she had no doubts about what Hiccup would say. She could picture him so well, the excitement on his face, and even thought that she could hear his voice saying the words.

"Follow your heart."

**. o O o .**

**I want to leave the interpretation of the end to everyone individually. Should Astrid have made Hiccup stay? Knowing what we know, it seems like the answer is clear. But without knowing that, would it have been better if he'd given up his dream for her?**

**And what about what Astrid sees and feels at the shore? Is that really Hiccup, his spirit watching over her? Or is it just her imagination, just wishful thinking?**

**And then... Those last three words there at the end… who said them? It seems to have been Astrid, but is that true? Maybe it was Stoick instead, realising that his granddaughter was just like her father and that, maybe, it had been the restrictions that had made Hiccup take that more extreme measures.**

**Or… or could it have been Hiccup? Maybe he survived after all? Maybe he lost his memories or got lost. And it took him ten years to find his way back.**

**I'll leave it up to you to decide which version is yours. Or are there other interpretations? I'd love to hear them. :)**

**...**

**So, now this is done... I wanted to write something hopeful, despite the death, and I hope that worked. As so often, this one-shot was inspired by a song. It's _Spirit Of The Sea _by Blackmore's Night, and this _Hope between Despair_ is what I always connected with this song, ever since I first heard it over 20 years ago.**


	2. Homecoming

**AN: Okay, so it was never planned to give this story more than one chapter... And I still stand by my original idea that I want people to imagine their own ending, the one they like best. However, after talking it through with some friends, this version formed in my head. And it wouldn't go away until I wrote it down. So what you get here now, is one_ possible_ ending/sequel. If you don't like it, feel free to ignore it. :)**

**. o O o .**

**Follow Your Heart: Optional Ending (Part 1/2)**

A harsh gust of wind blew across the sea. It was a cold wind that came from the north, rocking the small ship and ruffling through untidy auburn hair. Hiccup pulled his jacket closer around his neck as it made him shiver. He knew that he could go inside where it was somewhat warmer and sheltered from the wind… But he didn't want to! He wanted to stay right here, standing at the railing at the ship's prow and with his eyes cast out toward the island in the distance.

Time was a strange concept. Logically, he knew that it had been ten years since he'd last been here. But with everything that had happened since then, it simultaneously felt as if it had been only weeks and an entire lifetime.

What would await him there? Was his father still ruling the island? Was his grandmother still alive? And, most importantly… Was _she_ still living there?

Hiccup closed his eyes and gulped. He'd already spent endless hours, days, _weeks_ even thinking about these questions. But he wouldn't get any answers, not until he set foot on his former home island again and sought them out directly.

As Berk came closer, Hiccup's eyes wandered to that spot on the island he knew best; the shore at the northern coast. Smiling, he remembered all the times he'd stood there, waiting in excitement. He even thought he could see someone standing there right now, waiting like he used to wait. They were still too far away to see more than the vague outline of a figure, but that didn't keep his mind from filling in details that, certainly, couldn't be there. Like long golden hair gleaming in the light of the rising sun.

With a sigh, he shook his head. No matter how much he _hoped_ for this, she wasn't waiting anymore. She _couldn't _be. Not after ten years. Humourlessly, he laughed at himself. He'd made up countless scenarios in his mind over the last couple of months about how she might react to seeing him.; elated, overwhelmed, or breaking out in tears of joy that he wasn't dead. But all of these ideas were just wishful thinking. Chances were that she wasn't even living here anymore, and if she was then surely not because of him. She was beautiful, inside and out, and certainly had caught the eye of someone else by now. Someone who, hopefully, had made her happy.

But that wouldn't keep him from at least looking for her, if only to let her know he was alive and to apologise. To see her one more time.

Being back on Berk was strange. He felt it the moment his foot touched the once-familiar ground, this weird sense of familiarity and foreignness all at once. He used to know these docks, knew every man working here. But now, the faces around were only vaguely familiar if even that, and instead of greeting him with friendly smiles, they barely even looked at him.

Well, he _had_ changed, he mused. His hair had inevitably grown longer and he hadn't bothered to cut it often. He had a beard now. And the peg leg, of course. Besides, it wasn't as if anyone _expected_ to see him. They all had to believe that he died ten years ago.

Mutely, Hiccup walked past them all. He _could_ announce his return; that might even be the fastest way to get information. However, he decided not to. If he didn't like what he found, if there was no place for him here anymore, then he wouldn't stay. He didn't even _expect_ to stay…

Walking through the narrow streets of the town of Berk was just as strange as setting foot on the island had been before. It all looked eerily familiar, the buildings, the streets, the people. But nothing was quite as he remembered. The buildings were mostly the same except for fresh paintings and one that must have been rebuilt completely at some point. There was Gobber's workshop where he'd bought countless tools and parts in the past, but the sign atop the door was new and the display entirely unfamiliar to him. And there was the innkeeper's daughter, but she didn't look the same anymore. Her hair had streaks of grey in it, she'd become a little rounder, and she had a small boy on each of her hands. Without a doubt her sons. Swallowing, Hiccup walked on without saying hello. Life had continued without him, of course, it had. People had moved on.

He was hesitant about where to go exactly. His father's house would be an obvious choice, but… well, it hadn't been the memory of his father or even his grandma that had finally made him come here. Made him _remember._ He took a deep breath and then walked on, out of the town and down a small and barely-used road. He knew where Helka Hofferson's house was, after all. Maybe it was a far-fetched hope that her niece might still be there, but it was all he had.

The sun rose higher as he walked the short distance, warming his face and the air around him. It would be an unusually bright day for Berk. Hopefully, that was a good omen.

When he reached the small house, he paused. It was well-maintained with a garden and flowers in the windows. That was a good sign, meant that there was still someone living here. At least, he could hope for information. And it also looked different from what he remembered, younger in a way. The thought made his heart skip a beat, but he fought down the growing excitement. That didn't have to mean that _she_ was living here. It could be just _anyone_, moving here after Helka had given the house up for whatever reason.

Slowly and with shaking knees, he stepped up to the entrance door, almost tripping as his prosthetic caught on a stone. Gods, he couldn't remember ever having been this nervous! What if a complete stranger opened the door? What if it was her, but arm in arm with her husband? Did he really _want_ to have that image in his mind? Did he want it to replace the last memory he had of her, the one of her waving at him at the docks, with such an image?

Trembling, he leaned his forehead against the wooden door. He knew what he wanted, what he hoped for. A second chance with the woman who'd captured his heart and soul within merely a few hours. He longed for it, desperately, and he had no idea what to do with his life if that moment, that decision to leave with the Night Fury, really had ruined his one and only chance. He didn't want his hopes to be shattered.

But _not_ knocking and leaving now without a word made no sense. He'd come all the way to get answers – to this island and this house. Now, he just had to _seize_ them. And maybe she wasn't even here. Maybe someone else would open the door; a stranger. Maybe all he would learn today was that she'd moved away long ago.

Maybe his hopes and dreams wouldn't get crushed in a minute.

He knocked.

Nothing.

Hiccup huffed. Okay, no crushed hopes yet… But what now? Should he wait here until whoever lived here came back? If it indeed was some stranger, then he would look like a creep. He'd look like one anyway... Maybe he should go to his father's house first, after all. And come back here later. Or maybe not, depending on what his father might tell him. Sighing in resignation, he turned to leave when he heard the noises.

Footsteps.

A high voice calling something, female but unfamiliar.

A door falling close.

The noises came from behind the house where an ample garden used to be, as far as he remembered. Maybe there, he would find whoever lived here now.

Without giving himself more time to doubt or talk himself out of this, he walked around the building. "Hello?" he called to announce himself, but nobody answered him. Strange. He walked on, looking around but couldn't see anybody. Although, no, that wasn't entirely true. On this side of the house, a large window was set into the wall. And even though the reflecting sunlight made it hard to look inside, Hiccup could still make out movement behind the glass, a person moving about. And he could _swear_ they had long golden-blond hair.

_Don't be silly_, he chided himself, even as his heartbeat quickened. He didn't dare to believe it could really be her, that he might actually see her again after all this time.

Without his help, his legs moved to the backdoor set near the window. He lifted his hand to knock, his head dizzy with too many emotions, and a lump formed in his throat as his knuckles rapped against the wood.

"Come in, honey. The door is open.

The response nearly caused his knees to give way beneath him. _That voice!_ It was _her_ voice, without any doubt or room for errors. He recognised it, the tone etched forever into his mind.

But… _Honey?_

With shaking hands, he opened the door and _saw_ her.

She stood at a kitchen counter, her hands buried in soapy water as she washed the dishes. She didn't even look up as he entered and just hummed under her breath to herself.

Rendered speechless and immobile, he could do nothing but stare at her. She hadn't changed much; her curves were a little rounder than he remembered, softer, and her hair a shade or two paler. But she looked just as beautiful as he remembered, a serene smile on her lips and that inner glow still radiating from her like in that night in the tavern room.

"Astrid?"

Her name came out as nothing but a whisper, a weak gasp, trembling.

She paused in her movements, soapy water dripping off her hands. Then she turned toward him, surprise and confusion on her face – though not as much as he would have expected. She took a moment or three to silently look him over, her head cocked in thought before her lips twitched into a slight smile.

"Well, hello there. Didn't expect to see you here."

She spoke in a light tone, untroubled. It threw Hiccup off completely. _This_ was her only reaction? Had she cared so little for him that his absence or return didn't faze her at all? Not that he'd _wanted_ her to hurt over his disappearance, but… but…

Bewildered, he just stood still and waited as she took in his appearance more closely.

"Huh. I didn't expect a new look," she said with a strange smile. "Appropriate though, I guess. Although, it makes sense after ten years, doesn't it? You look…. older. I like the beard. And you've gained some muscles, haven't you?" Her smile became a little sad. "But your leg… You probably lost it when the ship sank?" She paused, eyes on his prosthetic, "That looks oddly complicated. I don't think I've ever seen anything like this." She took a minute longer to look at him, then chuckled, shook her head, and turned back to washing the dishes.

Stunned, Hiccup gaped at her. He'd wondered about how she might react, but _this_ was not what he'd expected. She… she had to know that he'd gone missing, right? She had to have noticed that he hadn't come back. Or hadn't she waited for him at all, not even a few weeks? Had the connection between them that one night and all his feelings been nothing but his imagination?

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. The only sounds he could hear were the clinking of the tableware and the thundering of his own heart. He'd come for nothing. He'd found her as he'd hoped he would. But he hadn't made this journey just to _see_ her, no matter what he'd told himself earlier. His heart and soul longed for more – but she didn't care.

He shouldn't have come in the first place...

He was just about to excuse himself and leave when something in her posture changed. Her grip on the plate in one hand and the brush in the other tightened, and she leaned forward, propping her weight up on her arms.

"Gods, I'm such a mess," she whispered.

Hiccup cocked his head. He wasn't sure whether she was still talking to him, even though there was nobody else around. Even when her eyes turned back to him, shimmering with unshed tears, it seemed as if she wasn't really seeing him at all.

"Ten years…" she murmured, still as if just talking to herself. "Ten years, and I'm still not over you. You'd think I was stronger than that. But now, I see you even here, and… and I don't even want you to go away. I should, but… but…" She broke off, choking on tears and more running freely down her cheeks.

And Hiccup understood. She wasn't indifferent toward him. She'd missed him just as much as he'd missed her, enough so that… that she'd imagined seeing him? Frequently enough so that his appearance didn't even _surprise_ her?

He gulped. He could see it now, the soul-deep pain in her eyes. It made his heart break all over for her. Yes, the thought of her being indifferent had hurt. But her pain right now hurt so much more. Even as he stood right here, she didn't believe it to be true…

"I don't want you to go," she eventually continued. Her voice was a little clearer now but still weak and quivering, brittle. As if she was about to break into a million pieces. "I want you to stay here. And I don't care if people call me crazy, I just…" She shook her head, her eyes closed, then let it drop as she turned away from him again, her shoulders slumping.

"Gods, I wish you were truly here," she sobbed. "I wish you were _real!"_

Her pain didn't leave him unaffected, his face crumpling. He wanted to reassure her, but if she believed him to be nothing but a vision then just him _saying_ so wouldn't convince her. Hesitantly, he made a few steps toward her. She didn't turn even as she must have heard his feet on the wooden floor and the rustling of his clothes, must have felt him coming closer. She didn't react and only kept sobbing quietly, even as he stood just inches behind her.

Moving on their own accord, his hands landed on her hips and he leaned a little closer until his chest was almost against her back. Beneath his hands, she stiffened.

"I _am_ real!" he murmured into her ear. Just these three words. Trembling, overwhelmed by emotions, he waited for her reaction.

There was a loud _Clang!_ as the plate landed on the ground slipping from numb fingers. Keening, she leaned back against him. Her knees buckled and left her weight almost entirely on his arms for a moment, and even though he was still shaking, he held on to her as tightly as he could.

Then, before Hiccup could even react, she turned around and kissed him. It was a hard kiss, bruising. Her hands were in his hair in an instant, clinging to him and tugging almost painfully as she gasped against his mouth. But he didn't have it in him to pull away. His arms held her as tightly as possible and his heart flowed over with joy, the fulfilment of ten years of anticipation.

Eventually, the kiss changed into something softer, her lips searching reassurance while her hands tried to connect his new appearance with the man she'd known before. He knew that's what she did because he did the same; caressing her arms, her back and sides, feeling her hair, her softness, and strong muscles beneath her skin. Sweet reconnecting and curious exploring. He knew that he wasn't the same man he'd been ten years ago anymore, and the same certainly was true for her, too. But during those minutes which felt like lifetime's worth of bonding, that didn't matter. They were together again, and that was all that counted.

"You're really here," she gasped against his lips after what felt like a small eternity. "You're _alive!"_

Gulping, Hiccup nodded. "I am."

She pulled back a little, her eyes searching his. They were just as beautiful as he remembered, deep like the sea yet warm and gentle like a summer breeze. He could lose himself in her eyes alone, and he didn't even notice her frown. Not until she spoke again.

"But… but how is that _possible?_ The ship… everyone _knew _you were dead. And where have you been? What happened?"

He sighed. "That's a long story,"

"And I have all the time in the world," she replied, chuckling. "Hiccup, I–"

An unexpected voice interrupted her. "I found something! Are you–_"_

Hiccup flinched. His head whipped around to where a young girl was staring at them, and he reflexively made a step away from Astrid; their closeness was not quite suitable for the eyes of a child. Astrid wouldn't have it, though, held on to him as if to never let him go again. He liked that thought.

"Am I what?" Astrid asked, her mind clicking back to reality much faster than his. "What did you find, honey?"

_Oh, so _she's_ who she'd meant before,_ Hiccup realised. Forcing his racing heart to calm down, he looked the girl over more closely. She seemed to be around ten years old and something about her face seemed oddly familiar. Had he met her before? But no, she would have been nothing but a baby back then.

The girl blinked, confused, but her eyes never left him, scrutinising him just as closely and her mind visibly working through options. "I… I found this mechanism in the book you…" she uttered, but then shook her head as if to clear it. "Did you say _Hiccup? _Mum, is… is that who I _think_ he is?"

_Mum?_

Giggling like a little girl, Astrid nodded. "Yes, Zephyr. Yes, he is."

Hiccup slumped, inwardly distancing himself from the woman in his arms. Of course… The girl's face looked familiar because she looked like Astrid. She was her _daughter!_ And whoever the girl's father was, he wouldn't be happy that a stranger had invaded his home and had kissed his wife.

The girl gaped at him with wide eyes, probably thinking the same as he did, but Hiccup couldn't pay her much attention right now. His trembling hands once again settled on Astrid's waist, but this time it was to push her away.

"She… is your daughter?" he asked, unnecessarily. By the Gods, he'd come in the hopes to continue where their lives had been separated ten years ago. But he wouldn't stay to destroy her marriage, wouldn't–

Astrid shook her head at his question. Her eyes bore into his, just as intense as he remembered, the softness of her smile spreading over her entire face. "No," she breathed. "Zephyr isn't _my_ daughter." She reached for his hands, placed them over her stomach, and laid hers over his. "She's _our_ daughter!"

Hiccup blinked. His mind took a moment to register what she'd said. Then his jaw dropped and his eyes widened as they flickered back and forth between Astrid and the girl. "Our...? But… but how… what…" Of course, he knew _how_ and remembered every detail of that night. But it was too much to accept at that moment, too much to wrap his head around. That girl… sh-she was… was his _daughter?_

With a soft sigh, Astrid leaned against his chest. "That's… a long story.

**. o O o .**

**This was only the first part of the sequel. There's also a second part which is already written out completely. I just need to edit it a bit and will upload it in a day or two.**


	3. Dreams Of The Past

**Okay, I said this sequel has two parts, right? **  
**Hahaha...**  
**Well...**  
**The thing is... **  
**...**  
**basically...**  
**I lied.**

**. o O o .**

**Part 3: Dreams Of The Past**

They talked all day; endless hours of reconnecting and of filling each other in about what had happened during the past ten years. Astrid told Hiccup about the years he'd missed and what had happened on Berk. About her friendship with his grandmother and how she'd inherited the ring Hiccup might have given her himself if things had gone differently. About the difficult and sometimes tiring contact she'd kept with his father. And about Zephyr. So much about Zephyr…

Bringing back all the moments he'd missed was impossible, but Astrid tried to give him as much as she could, telling stories and showing him pictures. Zephyr was around for most of the times, not shy in the least, just like she always was. She was just as curious to get to know Hiccup as he was for her, and so she asked endless questions, told him stories of her own, and even pulled him outside to show him her little workshop.

From what Astrid could tell, it was easier for Zephyr than it was for Hiccup. She'd always known that her father had existed, and wasn't yet old enough to fully grasp the meaning of _death_. To her, he'd just come back from a long journey, unexpected but not as much of a miracle as it was for Astrid. Hiccup, on the other hand, had never known, not even _suspected_, that he had a daughter. But even though this fact obviously threw him off quite a bit, he nonetheless put in a lot of effort to get to know her.

The sight of the two of them tentatively bonding brought tears to Astrid's eyes, but she quickly wiped them away before either of them could see them. She wasn't sad, after all; just overwhelmed. If there ever had been _any_ doubt whether Zephyr was Hiccup's daughter, then seeing the two of them together now was proof enough. They were just the same in their excitement, in their joyful curiosity of the unknown.

Somehow, the whole day passed by like this. Zephyr was sent to bed eventually, and when Astrid returned to Hiccup after kissing her daughter good night, he'd already made himself at home and prepared some snacks for them, cheese, fruits, and some light wine. The sight made Astrid pause, her stomach doing a strange flip at this domestic act.

"I… hope you don't mind?" he asked, gesturing at the food.

Taking a deep breath to steady herself, Astrid shook her head. "No, it's fine. Just… unexpected? I like it though."

Smiling, he took her hand and led her toward the table. They sat down on opposite sides, but their hands kept holding on to each other. Finally, after having avoided this topic all day for Zephyr's sake, Hiccup told her what had happened to him. How he'd gotten stranded after the Night Fury sank, how he'd been found and rescued by a man called Bran and his wife Mora, and how it had taken months before he'd been able to even leave the bed. She'd been right in that this had cost him his leg in the end; a broken board had nearly pierced his calf, and he'd been lucky that he'd only lost the leg and not his life. He told her about the years he lived on that foreign island with no memories of who he was and surrounded by people who, while welcoming and friendly, didn't know who he was, either.

"It was… strange," he murmured. His eyes were cast to where he idly played with her fingers, brushing over the ring there. "Whenever I tried to remember _anything_, the only image that would come to my mind was that of a beautiful woman waving me goodbye." He shot her a small smile but quickly dropped his gaze again. "I knew that she was important to me, but I had no idea who she was. Or where. And… and I wanted to look for you! But my condition made travelling impossible for a very long time. It took over three years before I could walk for longer than a few minutes again, and… Well, I guess I was too scared to leave what little I _knew_ for something unknown. Again. I also felt like I owed them for saving me. So I stayed, helped as best I could. But I never could get you out of my head."

Astrid squeezed his hand, fighting to reign in the butterflies in her belly at his words. It had been the same for her, she'd never been able to forget him, either. "So, what changed?" she asked carefully. "You regained your memories?"

Smiling, he nodded. He lifted their intertwined hands to breathe a soft kiss onto her knuckles. "I did… because of you!" Astrid cocked her head, confused, but he elaborated without her prompting. "The village that took me in… the people there have a tradition. When a baby is born, all family members and close friends are to suggest a name. And if the parents pick one of the suggested names, that person automatically becomes something of an… an honorary parent, you can say. It's considered a great honour. As a stranger with no family, I've never been a part of this ceremony, not until last year. Ella, the eldest daughter of the family that took me in, bore her first child. A beautiful little girl with eyes as blue as the sky and wispy blond curls that would stick out in every direction." His smile became fond, his gaze distant for a moment. "By then, I'd lived with them for many years, and Ella wanted me to suggest a name as well since I've always been like an older brother to her. And when she handed me the bundle with the baby…there was this one name that shot into the forefront of my mind. _Astrid._"

He looked up again, his eyes still as intense as in her memories despite the small wrinkles and weathered skin around them. "Until that moment, I couldn't remember your name. I only ever saw your face, over and over, every time I closed my eyes. But that was it. In my head, I always just called you Milady. But at that moment, when I blurted out your name… _everything_ suddenly came back to me. I think I nearly dropped the baby." He chuckled.

"After that… It took me a couple of months more to make up my mind. I liked the life I had there with Bran, Mora, Ella, and the others, and I had no idea what I might find when I came back here after all this time. Whether there still would be a place for me here. Who would still _be_ here…" He swallowed, probably thinking about Bruna.

It pained Astrid to think about how the old woman had died without knowing that her grandson was still alive, but it couldn't be helped. "Your father will be over-joyous to see you again. People say he's not been the same since… since that day. And… well, obviously, I'm still here, too."

Hiccup looked up again, a strange smile on his face. Warm but also sad. "That is all I need." Then his expression turned earnest. "Are you, though?"

Frowning, Astrid cocked her head. Was he trying to make a joking reference about her mistaking him for a vision earlier? But it didn't _feel_ like he was joking…

"I mean," he elaborated upon her confusion, "of course, you're here. We both are. But… that doesn't mean we can automatically continue as if the last ten years haven't happened, does it? As much as I want that, this day with you and… and with Zephyr made one thing clear. You're a grown woman now and not the same as the girl I've been falling for ten years ago, the girl I was missing without knowing her. And I am not the same man I used to be either." Again, the tips of his fingers brushed over her ring as he murmured, "We've both lived in the past. It was a beautiful memory, a dream. But now, it's about the future, about reality. Do you think there's still a path for us?"

Astrid had watched him all day, unwilling to look away out of fear he might disappear. But now, she let her eyes drop, unable to meet his gaze. His words had torn at something inside her, some fears she hadn't known about until this moment. "Is this…" she gulped. "Are you trying to say th-that you don't _want_ this? A domestic life and a family?"

It wasn't surprising, was it? Hadn't he once told her that he wanted to see the world? Was he just passing through and hadn't come to stay at all?

He was right, neither of them was the same person they used to be. When she'd believed him to be dead, it had been easy to imagine a _'What if'_ with him by her side, of raising Zephyr together. But the truth was that, despite their connection and still feeling drawn to him, she didn't _know_ him, didn't know what he wanted. He was nothing but a stranger, and the man of her dreams had really been just that – a dream.

She wanted to pull her hands back, didn't want him to notice how much they were shaking. However, he didn't let go of her. On the contrary, his grip became even tighter for a second, making her hold still. Making her _hope_.

"No, that's not what I wanted to say!" he said urgently. "I had my share of adventures. It's about what I said earlier. I _could_ have just stayed with them. But I didn't. I came here, but not for my grandma or my dad. I-I came for you! Because it was what my heart wanted, more than anything else. I wanted to come back to you, to _be_ with you. But now, I realise how presumptuous that was. You have your own life now, and I have no right to intrude on it." He ducked his head, his fingers twitching around hers.

"But… but maybe we can start anew?" He looked up again, his expression hopeful. "Astrid, I _do_ want this! If you think there's a chance for us, then I want to try. Whatever happened between us ten years ago, I know that it was something real, something _meaningful_. I wasted my chance once, and... well, here's hoping that it wasn't my one and only chance after all…"

She was barely aware of how much her hands were trembling, the reminder of him using those exact words again almost too much to bear. This was _real_. He was here, alive, after all this time. This wasn't just one of her fantasies or dream visions she sometimes made up in her mind. It was about the future, hers and Zephyr's. And Hiccup's. If she wanted him…

"Yes!" she choked out past the lump in her throat. Her fingers twitched, curling around his hand, so warm and sure. "Yes, I want us to try!" In her chest, her heart made a funny flip. "Gods, that's… it's all I ever wanted, Hiccup. A chance!"

The joy in his eyes was a reflection of her own feelings, so real and overwhelming. Fate had given them a second chance and they would not waste it.

**. o O o .**

More hours went by while Hiccup told her about his life. Even the smallest and most unimportant details were captivating for Astrid, everything to learn a little more about him. To him, she was nothing but a stranger. But over the years, she'd learned so much about who he used to be, and she was eager to compare the picture in her mind with the actual person sitting there at her dining table. And the more she learned the better she liked him.

Eventually though, he sighed, wistfully. "I think I better go now," he said, glancing out of the window into the dark night. "It will be difficult enough to convince my dad that I'm not an evil spirit there to haunt him when I appear in the middle of the night." Chuckling, he stood up and stretched, wincing a little as his weight shifted to his complicated-looking prosthetic.

Astrid watched him, her head cocked in confusion. "You won't stay?" she asked, inwardly scolding herself for how pathetic she sounded.

For just a heartbeat, there was a fire in Hiccup's eyes, one that made her cheeks flush and her heart beat faster. But then, he quickly turned away. "I don't think that would be a good idea," he muttered, swallowing thickly.

She stood up and followed him, caught his hand to make him pause. "Why?"

Hiccup inhaled deeply then turned back toward her. Again, there was this fire in his eyes, burning even hotter as he stepped closer. His hands rose to cup her face and slowly, almost hesitantly even, he brushed his lips over hers. It couldn't even be called a true kiss, certainly nothing against the one they'd shared this morning. But somehow, it was sweeter, more important.

"Because I want to do this _right_," he murmured into the small space between them. "I don't want to rush it. That night in the tavern… It was wonderful, the best night of my life. But while it was perfect for us back then, it wouldn't be right for us now."

Astrid's eyes closed and she exhaled shakily. She could see his point, she really did. But when he made to pull away, she held on to him nonetheless, keeping him close. "Stay," she whispered. "Please."

"Astrid, I–" he began to protest, but she cut him off right away.

"No, not… not like that. I-I just want you to hold me. I want you to be here when I wake up. So that I know this day wasn't just another dream. Please!"

_Oh, please…_ If this day had been just another dream again… Astrid wasn't sure if she could take that. She'd so often dreamed of his return… But this felt so real. She _wanted_ it to be real.

With a sigh, Hiccup gave in to her pulling him back against her. Pained understanding flickered up in his eyes, and he leaned his forehead against hers, his nose lightly stroking along her cheekbone. It felt wonderful, sending warm shivers along her skin. "Alright," he murmured in a warm and reassuring tone. "I'll stay. And hopefully, you'll believe that I'm real in the morning."

Chuckling weakly, she leaned against his warm chest, inhaled his scent of leather and the sea. "That might take a while. Gods, I missed you so much!"

He caressed her cheek with the back of fingers, gently, and whispered, "I'll be here, no matter how long it takes."

**. o O o .**

**This won't become a full multi-chap story with some well-thought-through plot. But I have _at least_ two more scenes written/planned, and already got a few good suggestions for other additions. So, this will become a collection of one-shots set in this AU-verse.  
**


	4. Awakening

**After a wonderful dream, Astrid wakes up in the morning, unwilling to face reality again. But reality won't let her dream forever.**

**A rather short one. But I like it.**

**. o O o .**

**Part 4: Awakening**

When Astrid woke in the morning, it was with a strange twisted feeling in her chest. She'd dreamed again, a wonderful dream about _him_ coming back. Gods, it had felt so _real!_ His voice, his scent, his kisses. She even thought she could still feel his warm arms around her waist.

But she _knew_ that it had just been a dream. She'd dreamed it too often to fool herself and instead braced herself for the pain she knew was about to hit her, that threatened to tear her apart every time again. It overcame her in a wave, the reminder that he was gone forever, and it left her whole body trembling.

"Why?" she sobbed into her cushion. Why was fate cruel like this? Why had it taken him away from her? Why wouldn't it let her let go of him?

"Astrid?"

Whimpering, Astrid buried her face deeper into her cushion. She could still hear his voice, so wonderfully warm and rich, heavy with sleep and just waking up.

"Astrid, are you all right?"

She was shaking all over now. He sounded so _real_; voice trembling slightly as if he was worried, warm breath on her skin as if he was lying right next to her. She even thought she could feel the mattress shifting beside her. Or was that Zephyr as she sneaked into her bed for cuddles? No, please not! Astrid didn't want her to see her like this, not again.

"Astrid, it's okay," his voice insisted, large hands around her shoulders. "I'm here. I'm really here, okay? Please, look at me."

"N-no," she whimpered. Oh, this wasn't _fair!_ She could feel his warmth seeping into her, felt his breath on her skin. All of this felt so wonderful, so perfect. She didn't want the bubble to burst, didn't want to wake up.

But there was no point in putting it off. Eventually, she would have to accept reality again; couldn't stay in this dream forever. Bracing herself against the harsh disappointment, she rolled onto her back and looked up – into a pair of beautiful if troubled green eyes.

"Good morning, Milady," Hiccup murmured, his lips twitching into a soft smile. "Are you fully awake now?"

Astrid stared up at him leaning over her, at green eyes deeper than the sea. She was hesitant to believe it, only slowly raised her hand to caress along his jaw, rough with stubbles, and over his lips. He watched her, his gaze just as intense as she remembered, even with the lingering sadness in them.

"Are you real?"

He _felt _real. But still, Astrid was cautious to accept it as the truth. She remembered the day before, his return and how he'd stayed to hold her through the night – but did she dare to _believe _it?

Hiccup nodded, then turned his head to place a lingering kiss on the inside of her palm. "I am."

A strange sound burst from her chest, something between a laugh and a sob, tears welling in her eyes. She couldn't even say what overcame her; maybe it was that she finally accepted him being here as the truth or maybe she was just tired of resisting. Either way, at that moment, she didn't care anymore, risked the pain of disappointment in case she fooled herself yet again.

She pulled him down to press her lips to his, kissing him with all the passion and longing that was bottled up inside her. It was then – when he responded, one arm wrapped around her with his hand on her back pressing her against him and moaning into her mouth with that same yearning she felt too – that she finally let herself _believe _it.

"You're really back, aren't you?" She had her forehead pressed against his, basking in his warmth around her, in his breath tickling her skin, and in his hands caressing her neck and cheeks.

Again, he nodded, the motion making her head move with his. "Yes," he almost choked. "And I'm so, _sooo_ sorry. I wish I'd stayed. Or… or that I'd remembered you sooner. I'm sorry I cause you so much pain."

Chuckling shakily, she shook her head. "It's okay," she murmured. It hadn't been his fault. "You're here now, that's all that matters anymore."

She found herself reluctant to leave the bed. Instead, she enjoyed his embrace for a while longer, so warm and comforting, the rhythm of his heart so soothing as she lay with her head on his chest. His hand was on her back, slowly caressing her, and she never wanted this moment to end.

**. o O o .**

**I guess Astrid is a little traumatised after losing Hiccup once and all the times she'd _thought_ he was back. Poor girl...**


End file.
